My Pump Failed…Choosing Gratitude Over Grief




I had an unexpected challenge pop up last night that I wanted to share since I am generally always posting about positive, happy things as that is my default mode in life, but that doesn’t mean scary stuff doesn’t happen!

My PDM for my Omnipod pump, which is the personal daily manager where I dose all insulin from, failed for the first time since I’ve been using my pump (a little over 4 years now). No PDM = no insulin delivery. No insulin delivery = the possibility for a large variety of scary/deadly circumstances.

In the first few minutes of this experience, I definitely panicked slightly, but I immediately broke that pattern with progress-oriented action. I said to myself, okay, let’s take the actions that we need to take right now to correct this situation, and no matter what, you know you have the tools you need, so everything will be okay. I choose love and gratitude instead of panic. I said this out loud. Then I took action.

I called Omnipod and they said they are shipping a new PDM overnight which is great. I’m super grateful that I have the tools, knowledge, and confidence to manage my diabetes until the new PDM arrives.

I’m grateful I had an unexpired pen of Tresiba (long acting insulin that I’ve never tried before) in the refrigerator that I got as a sample from my endo last year specifically just in case this happened. I’m grateful to have syringes, vials of Novolog, and Afrezza to use in the interim.

And even though my overnight blood sugars were ROUGH, I still slept well after turning off my Dexcom high alert line (after a while, I had enough beeping!)

I think the Tresiba finally started kicking in and my blood sugar levels have been in range since about 6 am. I will continue to use my intuition and Dexcom to keep my blood sugar as in range as possible while my impromptu pump vacation continues.

Even with the unpleasant overnight blood sugars, all I feel is gratitude for having the ability to care for myself in this very unexpected situation.
I decided to write down 3 things I am grateful for from this experience when I finally woke up out of my high blood sugar grogginess this morning, and this is what I came up with:

1. I’m grateful that I have the tools available to take care of myself in the absence of my pump.

2. I’m grateful that I get to be pump-free for 24 hours and test my MDI skills (I totally, intuitively of course, guessed on the Tresiba dose based on the last time I took Lantus and a couple articles I read quickly before dosing…so far, so good!)

3. I’m grateful beyond measure to have this online community (both diabetes and non-diabetes, as everyone here is part of my online community!) to share this experience with as I know everyone knows what it is like to deal with very unexpected external stress, that if not managed well, could result in disastrous circumstances, or will in the future, and this experience allowed me the opportunity to see what came out when life squeezed me, and what came out was pure gratitude and the strong desire to lead by example with love.

That is what I wish for everyone. When life squeezes you, which is will continue to do, that love and gratitude come out no matter what. 

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